Welcome to Merced!

I meant to post this sooner but I didn't have time.

Welcome to your little preview of Merced.

This is Main Street in Merced where you can see the old Merced playhouse tower: also, you can see the officer in the patrol car who told me to, "get the @$%# down from there" after I took this photo while perched on top of a traffic light.

Let's see where you'll be staying for the duration you're here.
This is the house! It's a decent place for only $300 a month. I want to warn you that there is a wasp nest under the window to the left of the entranceway... and I'm pretty sure our neighbors are Latin gangsters. Just saying.
Here's what the immediate inside of the house looks like. Ohhh the columns make it sooo regal...

This is the kitchen I cleaned for your arrival. It looks much better now, trust me.
Here's the living room where I often find Kirby passed out in front of the TV with a bottle of Jack Daniel's, aka: the dark side of Ke$ha.
I'm not messing with you, that is the actual size of our living room TV. You can also see Brendan's collection of Jäger on the shelf in the upper right corner. He has a drinking problem, he buy's shitty liquor.
Here's the backyard...Nothing really special about it.

Moving on to the campus
You can kind of see it in the upper left corner.

A little bit closer now...
BAM! We've arrived!!! Welcome to the University of California at Merced.

I don't want to give too much away (because I don't want to spoil our future 5 minute tour of where I've spent the past two years of my life) but from here you can see the Library, Social Sciences, Humanities and Arts building and the Engineering building. I honestly think I might have already given too much away :(

Moving away from campus:
Here's the playground where I spend hours on end wringing my hands and licking my lips while ogling toddlers in front of their respective parents.

NOW HERE COMES THE CHOO CHOO!!!!

My favorite place to get crappy food in Merced. It soils the healthy conscious but it slakes the empty belly :)
Used to be my favorite place to satisfy my drunk munchies when I was a freshman (don't worry, I didn't drive). 24 HOUR DONUT SHOP! YUM YUM!!!
Margarita Mondays and Thirsty Thursdays where I can get a full plate of pulled pork nachos for $6? Can you give me a hell yeah? There ain't nothing wrong about Big Bubba's Bad BBQ.
This is my absolute favorite restaurant in all of Merced. It's only a sandwich shop and it's only open at lunch, but this is the absolute best place to get a decent, healthy meal in Merced. We will be making a visit down here at least once.

Finally, the place I go to drown all of my sorrow's, The Partisan. All we need to find is Kirsten Dunst's ID from when she played Mary Jane and we can sneak you in here for a couple drinks and some karaoke. You can come say hello to the porn shop people with me.

That's it. The rest you can find out for yourself when you get here. Sorry to be so mysterious about this whole thing but I wanted it to be special and it took awhile to piece everything together. I love you and I can't wait to share this somewhat exotic town with you in a couple hours. Love you baby.