You've Got to Get Out and Live! (At The Sex Shop?)

Last night we talked about many a thing, but the most important of those things was living. We've accomplished a lot as young adults, seen and done things perhaps too early in our youth to completely understand but they changed and shaped us into who we are nonetheless.

Now however, we seem to be stuck in a rut of boring experiences. We do not venture past our bedroom doors. We don't feel as happy, we don't feel as satisfied, and we don't feel whole. The days of excursions into Parisian nightlife and experimenting with post-adolescence in college are over for now and we cannot seem to adjust into the routine of summer life.

For awhile now, everyday has become a series of processed events, blended together into a easily digestible pablum of false security and comfort. We are bored but apathetic, discontent but indecisive. We are lesser than who we want to be because we have forgotten what it's like to have life be a challenge, to have a routine that routinely changed and sometimes made us uncomfortable but more secure in ourselves.

I told you, if you want to be happy, if you want to know what you want and who you are, you need to start living again. It's true. But I didn't tell you how much I was talking about myself as well. I need to follow my own damn advice and start living too so we can both have something to share at the end of the day. Today I decided to start trying to live again, and it made me happy.
It all started by finding that goddamn sandwich shop that escaped me yesterday. "Big Will's Louisiana Po Boy Sandwich Shop"! It's already a mouthful of a title.

I decided to go for a little bike ride to burn some extra calories and work up an appetite before I bought the 48" Jumbo Shrimp Sandwich I dreamed about. After a nice 13 mile jaunt around town, I pedaled towards the epicenter of my three day fascination for a shrimp sandwich, Big Will's Sandwich Shop. When I arrived though, I noticed that next to the sandwich shop was a surprising little Merced treasure I had overlooked for the past couple of years.
Yes, that is a man holding up a picture of you behind a window display in a sex shop. Merced's very own sex shop! How I've missed this the past 2 1/2 years I don't even know, but it will go overlooked no longer.

So after accosting the nice man setting up a sign in front of the store if I could take a picture of my girlfriend on a stick in front of the display, he conjectured "I could hold up the picture behind the glass, if you want?" I wanted. So after snapping you in a conveniently embarrassing moment, I went inside the air conditioned store, only to be overwhelmed by a potpourri of well accented fruit lubricants and latex everything.
Cast in order of appearance (left to right): Martin, Tanya, Linda. The two ladies were manning the counter and Martin was seated to my right. After introducing myself, I explained the idea behind the blog and the reason for taking a picture of the shop (I felt kind of obliged to at that point in time). After some lively chatter with everyone about long distance relationships, New York, the heat in Merced, Tanya's emerging DJ career at the Partisan and other topics, Linda asked me if I was a student at the UC. I responded with a proud "yes", and that I majored in Literature and Political Science. She lit up. She then began to explain to me how she was writing an autobiography and how she took her material to an editor who told her she needed an ending to her story and so now she was looking for a ghost writer with some fresh perspective to find a conclusion. I realized I had made a mistake in going inside this place.

Linda then asked me if I was much of a writer or editor and I gave her a now very hesitant "yes"; but before she could unleash the avalanche of questions about availability or prices for doing some work, which I could sense was on the tip of her tongue, I elaborated on my answer by saying "but my friend Demitra is a much better editor than I am. She is perfect for looking over your material and giving some constructive feedback". Linda then gave me her phone number and told me she was excited for Demitra to help her out. Dodged a very awkward bullet there.
I departed soon after, without the jumbo shrimp sandwich I spent all of yesterday looking for, and I have yet to decide if I should actually give Linda's number to Demitra or not.

Whatever the conclusion of "this" particular story, I just wanted to tell you that today I started living again and it felt good. I met some new people, dealt with a somewhat uncomfortable situation and yet at the end of the day, I felt like I had fun. I had a story to tell, even if I only want to share it with you. This is what I think our lives should be about, meeting new people and making stories. And maybe every day can't be completely new but we can try to make a good story out of it anyway, right?

That's what we need right now, something to talk about, something to laugh at, something to cry about, something to share. I love sharing everything with you and I think now we just need more life to share, more stories to tell. Let's have fun and be happy and at the end of the day we'll talk about everything we did, everything we discovered and everything in-between. Let's be everything we want to be, let's be ourselves and love each other the way we've always wanted to.

When you get here, let's live together again.